Ngh... I feel weird. Really weird. I'd better not be coming down with something again!

[yawn, and hoovesteps]

... Huh?

[silence]

Hm.

[more hoovesteps]

... Wait a minute...! ACK! T-this can't be happening!

I'M AN UGLY STINKY LLAMA!!!

[desperate sobbing]

[Recorded]

Heh, look at all the peasants getting sick. I'm lucky I'm an emperor. My royal body wouldn't catch a cold like this one.

[cough]

No sir, not sick at all! Now if only the room would stop spinning... And why's it so hot in here? I don't remember giving anyone permission to light fires in the building.

Stop spinning!

[another cough]

I command you to stop spinning!


[[OOC: Non-lethal, because I'm not about to do the world a favor. =P]]

Bah. Wedding, schmedding. What do I have to do to get a little attention around here?

Hmmm...

Hey, any of you girls out there interested in being my lucky bride? You'll become an empress and we'll have a wedding that's even better than that last one!

No fighting now, ladies. There's enough Kuzco for everyone. Just keep in mind that I can only marry one girl, so if you want a chance you'll have to look hot and groovy. I'm looking for someone pretty enough to match a wonderful emperor such as myself, after all. And then I'll divorce you for even more attention.


[[strikes can be read if you squint real hard]]

[Recorded]
[blanket rustle, then hurried footsteps. A sigh of relief follows]

Yes! Kuzco is back, baby! No more girly face for me!

Booyeah!

[irregular footsteps and scrapings across the floor, accompanied by humming. It can be assumed he's doing a little victory dance.]

[Recorded]
Ahhh, what a nice day. I'm not sure why, but I feel so... free, you know? And I have this incredibly hankering for chocolate. ... What are you staring at, Bucky?!

...

[Extremely loud, high-pitched, echoing, female shriek]


[[OOC: Yes, this is the only picture of Female Kuzco I could think of. He's not a llama, he's just... a really ugly woman. XD]]

[Recorded]
What is it with these animals? Seriously. This isn't cool. There is a squirrel following me!

Shoo! I said shoo! Beat it!
[squirrel talk]
No, I am not going to protect you. I don't care that you're-
[more squirrel talk]
Really? You think I'm strong and handsome? Hahah, at least you know your stuff! The great Kuzco, that's me!
[yet more squirrel talk]
Okay, fine, you can hang out with me for a while.

Well, maybe the animals aren't that bad. But this whole thing is still lame.

Okay, so... Yeah. This isn't funny anymore. The food here is lousy, the beds are lousy and there are no swimming pools around. Even the sky looks gloomy! Besides, this self-reliant thing is starting to get on my nerves. I mean, honestly, do I have to do everything by myself?

My groove has been officially thrown off!

Hey! You... Malnosso... things...! If you wanna kidnap an emperor, how about accomodating him properly? I demand that you build me a palace and get me a couple of servants!

Now!


[[OOC: By the way, Kuzco still isn't taken. He hasn't posted at all since the V-day thing started, so... Reply with caution.]]

[Unknowingly recorded]
Oww... My back is killing me. And why hasn't my breakfast gotten here yet?

Hey! Chef! Chop chop! ... Chef? Butler? Yzma? ... Anyone? Ugh… Now I’m actually going to have to get up by myself. Those people are so fired!

W-wait! What’s this?! W-where’s my bed? Where’s my palace?! I have wings! Why the wings?! I was too young to die! Struck down in the prime of my glorious life! This can't be happening!

[loud sobbing/wailing]

Wide open spaces... Wide open spaces...!